You should know that my relationship with Christian started out as a friendship back in the 9th grade. The poor kid was new to our school and needed some friends, so I jumped right in to help him out (it had nothing to do with how hot he was, it was more about my inner devotion to do good and be kind). But this isn't a story about how me and Christian met. This is a blog inspired by a friend of mine named Tehmi who wrote a blog about compromises and how some things in life aren't meant to be compromised. Or more specifically I think she was saying that people shouldn't make you compromise the things you love. One line from her blog was, "J Crew. My closet can be completely from J Crew if I want it to be. If I wanted to shop someplace else I would." another was, "Dance Parties. A really great Fleetwood song on the radio sometimes leads to a dance party. Nothing to be ashamed of..." Her blog got me really thinking about something. And no it wasn't about all the things that Christian makes me do, or all the things he doesn't (although that would be sure to make a good lengthy post as well..jk) but it got me thinking about all the things I don't let Christian do, or all the things I make him do. Essentially I wanted to make a promise to myself to go back to 9th grade, when I loved him, for him. So, here goes,
Color Coordination (or the lack thereof). I will let you wear what you want, even if it's a brown shirt with black shoes, or a gray shirt with brown shoes. (OUCH that one hurt, but its out in the open now).
Scrabble and Angry Birds. I will let you play Angry Birds and scrabble with Mark and Leah because I know it makes you happy.
92.3. I won't make fun of you for listening to this hip hop station even though you aren't a gangsta.
Dishwasher. I'll let you show me how to load the dishwasher the "right" way without getting defensive that I'm the girl and if anything I should be showing you.
Pressed and Primed. I won't make fun of you for wanting to iron ALL YOUR SHIRTS before you wear them. I won't iron them FOR you, but I won't make fun of you for doing it yourself. I know you just like looking neat and clean...even if you don't care about matching?
ABCs once, sure...but 10 times? I won't make fun of you for timing how long you brush your teeth and making sure you don't stop before the timer reaches 2 minutes. It makes sense that you brush your teeth for this long even though I couldn't pay you to floss...?
Mountain Man. I won't make you grow a mountain man beard if you don't want to.
Golfing. I know if you were sitting here you'd tell me that I knew how much you loved to golf when I married you so I should let you go everyday, but that's a financial issue and I know if I let you you would drop out of school and work and take out loans just to go play everyday, so lets not bring that one up.
Backflips. If you don't want to do a backflip on your snowboard anymore I won't tease you for being a wimp. Heaven knows I'd never be daring enough to do something so stupid, I shouldn't make my husband do it just for entertainment purposes right?
This and That. I won't make fun of you for adding possibly every spice and ingredient we have in our house to your new recipe for cooking chicken, beef, and just about everything else. I might not eat it, but I won't tease you about it.
Well I'm sure there is many more. The point is I know I can be critical and I know that's not healthy in relationships. Thanks Tehmi! For reminding me that life is about letting people live and be who they are. Dr. Laura always says, "choose wisely, treat kindly". In other words if you are in any kind of relationship where you find yourself being mean and unkind then it's you're fault for not choosing friends, husbands, wives, co-workers, etc, wisely! You know the type of person you can handle, and once you choose to be in their life you have to allow them to be them. And treat them kindly. Case in point! When I asked Christian to give me some examples of the things I do that are critical of him, all he could come up with was how I make fun of how he dresses (not that that's the only thing I do wrong, he's just not one to dwell on my faults). Anyway I remembered that in the 9th grade Christian always wore these bright blue and yellow swim shorts...to school...AND I LOVED IT! So I knew what I was getting myself in to. I chose wisely, and now I'm learning to treat kindly. Lucky for me the best example of treating kindly is (no, not Dr. Laura, she's actually quite rude) but it's Christian. You know how God says he'll help us make up what we lack? Well he sure did that when allowed me to marry Christian. You're a true pal Chrish. I believe it was Jerry McGuire who once said, "You complete me". And so it is. Wish me luck on my journey back to the 9th grade, back to when I loved you, for you!
Sorry for everyone else who is just going to have to put up with me being critical of them. I can only take on so many projects at once, and for now it's Christian! Don't make me run faster than I have strength.
