Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Gift



Thank you for the Gift. You could have been anywhere, with any family, maybe even your biological one. But you found your way to ours instead. And we found our way to you. You belong with us. Forever. So thank you, for the gift of you.

The way you laugh.
The way we laughed the same laugh together.
The way you hated smiling with your teeth, but when you did...Wow.
The way you hugged so tight.
The way you looked at Jaydia.
The way you apologized when you felt bad for something.
The way you rolled your eyes at my silly sense of humor.
The way you love longboarding like I do.
The way you appreciate music the way I do.
The way you always told me to stop singing aloud in the car.
The way you would always sing aloud in your bathroom.
The way you looked at me when I asked a stupid question.
The way you treated all animals.
The way you hated wearing shoes.
The way you intimidated most of my friends.
The way you stood up for who ever was loosing the family argument.
The way you protected the beliefs of others.
The way you love your Mother.
The way you love us all just the way we are.
The way you sat by the fire with me and played "would you rather".
The way you played the flute.
The way you were naturally athletic.
The way you drew.
The way you hated to see other people in pain.
The way you wished you could take pain from others and give it to yourself.

The way in which all who really knew you, could see Christ in the little things you'd do and say. You resembled him more than you ever knew. I wish you would have seen it. Oh it was amazing. Your compassion, your kindness, your bravery, your love, your selflessness.

Maybe because of you, I can be a little more kind. A little more patient. A little more loving. A little more brave. A little more accepting. Maybe because of you, I can be a little more Christlike. So thank you, for The Gift of You!

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

AF Canyon







We have a little family tradition of going up the canyon in the Ranger every fall. You'd think we'd be experts on getting up there at peak season, but somehow we are always about a week or 2 late. It's still fun and pretty and Jaydia loved the ride. She was such a good girl and it was so fun to be all bundled up together.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Lullaby to Jaydia 6/5/2011


6/5/2011- The day I had to check-out of the hospital and leave Jaydia.


Josh Groban
Lullaby

Hush now baby don't you cry
Rest your wings my butterfly
Peace will come to you in time
And I will sing this lullaby

Know though I must leave, my child
That I would stay here by your side
And if you wake before I'm gone
Remember this sweet lullaby

And all love through darkness
Don't you ever stop believing
With love forlorn
With love you'll find your way
My love

The world has turned the day to dark
I leave this night with heavy heart
When I return to dry your eyes
I will sing this lullaby

Yes I will sing this lullaby
Oooooohhh

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

I DID IT!




I did it! And now you can finally view my video at fightergirljayde.blogspot.com if you've been invited. If you haven't and want to be let me know!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I know...


I know that I'm not too good at updating my blog. And it isn't because I've run out of things to say...you all know that could never happen. But I think for the first time in my life the story that should come next on my blog is a strange one, and hard for me to tell. Strange because it's beautiful, scary, sad, happy, heart breaking, heart warming, and so many more things all at once. But I am working on it. Jaydia's birth story will be arriving via a video I am making. Now the reason for it not being done is A. It took me a while before I could look at all the hospital photos without crying. And B. Christian sold my MAC and got a HP (so lame) and the movie making feature is not nearly as easy and user friendly as my MAC. So I'm working on it and it is almost ready for viewing. I'm making a new private blog though in order for you to view the movie. So if you'd like access please leave me your e mail so that if I'd like you to have access you can. It's just a little too personal for me to post publicly but I really don't want to go through the trouble of making my blog private.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

No Rain, No Rainbows

"You have to know that it's not your fault Michelle. You can't feel guilty for something you had no control over." But as I lean over your bed side and see hoses, chords, and IVs hooked up to your small body, and as I see you uncomfortable and in pain, struggling for life, I can't help but lean in close to you and whisper, "I am so sorry".